The Story of Alternian Syndrome
by Sinneli
Summary: Around the world, about thirty or forty individuals are diagnosed with what is called Alternian Syndrome. Even though they never met each other, they know their names and their personality. And they describe in perfect detail of a world destroyed, and this game called SBURB. No one knows if this is really a syndrome, or something else.
1. Chapter 1

Hello. My name is Rose Lalonde and this is my journal entry.

I really had a journal long time ago. You know the one. The one which had MEOW scribbled all over it. Back then, I didn't know what it was. Now I do. And it's making me frustrated.

My frustration comes from the fact that I am in a mental hospital ward. Locked up and the only thing I can do here is write.

I found myself in this hospital because of this… syndrome. Something called Alternian Syndrome.

Well, it isn't much of a syndrome really. More of delusions and paranoia shown by some people I know.

Someone I used to know. Let me start the story. A brief one, since I cannot fully explain my adventures within this journal, much less this entry page.

So it all started with SBURB Beta, a game which we played to escape our doomed universe. It started with John's birthday, who we knew with this program called Pesterchum. Our adventures included many aspects, such as time travel, the Noble Circles of Horrorterrors, and even the destruction of universe and the ascension of god-tier.

Speaking of which, it involved many deaths and doomed timelines.

But a few months ago, I wake up in my bed, with a non-alcoholic mother staring down at me. She asked me if I was fine. I asked her why she wasn't drunk as always.

It was few days later that she had taken me to a mental hospital, where they found out that I believed I played this game called SBURB, and met these… trolls.

It was quite a recent syndrome that started the day I woke up on that bed.

I gathered few pieces of information during the months of my stay in this ward.

First, the Earth. Or this Earth, wasn't destroyed.

Second, there are patients under the name of trolls and my friends somewhere out there. I asked, and they identified about thirty or forty people diagnosed with the same symptoms.

The most extraordinary thing is that we all know each other, even though the records state we have never met before.

Finally, I am the one with the least symptoms of this supposed Alternian Syndrome. I am being released two days later. I am grateful for it, as this isolation therapy is driving me nuts.

I still refuse to believe that SBURB did not occur, but I have to live this reality.

And for the first time in what seemed to be years, I am going back to school.

Still I worry about the others who are still trapped in the mental institutions and therapy. I pity them, and I hope they are released as well.

But I am the first out. I hope that I am not going to be the last.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello, I'm Vriska Serket. And I'm recording this stupid entry.

First off, I am on a planet called Earth. That's where John is from. I thought it was destroyed, but yeah. It wasn't, apparently. Everyone is alive, and I found out that John is locked up as well.

Though I'm not locked up anymore. I'm not that stupid.

The first thing I noticed was my white and pale skin instead of the usual shade of gray. That was quite awesome for a moment. You know. Maybe I became a rainbow drinker like Kanaya. Then I noticed my horns were gone.

My freaking. Horns. I loved those things and they weren't there anymore.

And I noticed I was in a human hospital. So maybe, I thought, maybe they surgically removed it.

They apparently said they did not, but I fought back anyways. Knocked down a nurse or two. Broke their nose. Smashed some faces. You know, the usual.

Then they gave me medications, and I was forced to think that I am this human with this weird disorder.

SGRUB happened. I don't know what happened to the others, but I am out. I ran out of the mental institution a week ago. I'm going to find someone who is sane. I can trust no one. No one except my friends.

I am calling them my friends now, yes.

I stole some clothes, some supplies, and a few records from the hospital.

Though I don't know anything about Earth, I will try.

This is Vriska Serket, your favorite cerulean troll.


	3. Chapter 3

Uh… hi. This is Tavros Nitram. And… I am a troll.

Well… not really. Not anymore.

Few days ago, I saw Vriska being dragged into a room. She was struggling and screaming a lot. I don't think she saw me. But I saw her…

But I heard she ran away. I'm grateful for that.

But… I don't know her. Not here anyways.

I'm not a troll anymore. I'm a human.

I'm starting to believe that… maybe the whole SGRUB didn't happen.

I never had robotic legs. I was crippled and always with the wheel chair.

It's fine, really. I am used to the wheel chair.

But yeah… I still like imagining things. You know. The times when I was in Alternia, even though it didn't happen.

They keep asking me to take medication. But they said I was improving.

They said they will find me a foster parent and send me home. Have a new home.

I just hope they are nice. The foster parents… I mean.

I guess I'll just accept the fact that I never had friends. All my friends were imaginary. SGRUB never happened. And I was never on Alternia.

I'm just someone who was abandoned.

But hey, it's kinda nice. Just accepting it. The doctors are nice to me. And I am playing these games called Pokemon. Just like one of those Fiduspawn. But nicer. You know. More species. They evolve. It's nice. They even have this musical thing these days.

And someone named Peter Pan. I'm reading a book about him. And the parodies.

Speaking of Peter Pan, I miss everyone. Even Vriska.

I really miss them. Even though they might not know me.

Maybe I will get to meet them. You know… everyone. Be friends again.

Author's note: Hey. This is Sinneli. Saw all your reviews and favorites. And I really appreciate them.

First off, this is going to continue. I am going to write up every single kid and troll in Homestuck. Not the Ancestors, though. The Dancestors. Like Meenah and Aranea. They are all going to have the Syndrome, and all of them are in a different situation, either on the run, fighting the treatment, or simply accepting it. I'm going to write these chapters like this. Until they finish introducing themselves, the situation they are in, the chapters are going to be short. Then, the adventure begins. Let's see how far they go. Will SBURB be real? Or will it all be in their head? I'll try to raise up the question.

But meanwhile, thank you for enjoying this fanfiction. I'll keep updating.


	4. Chapter 5

_So… Mr. Makara. How was your day so far?_

Fine, bro. Though I wouldn't mind going out again.

_I am sorry we can't do that. Not after your violent outburst._

Look, bro. I am sorry about that. Look. My friends were suddenly gone. Just. Gone. And my horns are gone. So did the miracles.

_Miracles?_

Yeah. Miracles. ****ing colors.

_I would ask you to refrain from swearing, Mr. Makara. This is a recorded message, and you are one of the more serious patients with this Alternian Syndrome._

Look, man. It all happened. Karbro and everyone had this wicked time. This seriously is sick.

_I guess I will ask them to edit some of the swearing out. So, tell me about this… game. SGRUB, right?_

Yeah. SGRUB. It had some miracles right there. Though I did kill some nice trolls.

_Wait, kill?_

Yeah. I ate ****ing poison. I was eating ****ing poison all the time.

_Poison? I am not exactly sure what you are talking about._

Oh, yeah. Forgot humans don't have sopor slime.

_Sopor slime?_

Yeah. It's this wicked stuff we sleep in. We weren't supposed to eat it, but yeah. I ate it. Didn't know. Ate it until it ran dry.

_So… what did it do to you?_

Oh, made me more peaceful. Suppressed this… urge. This ***ing urge to kill everything. Destroy.

_I see. So what made you stop?_

It was Karbro. He shoosh papped me. And we had this wicked morail miracle right there.

_So, Mr. Makara. Do you still believe that SGRUB happened?_

Hell yeah.

_I guess you are one of the trickier patient, Mr. Makara._

…

_Mr. Makara?_

((Crashing sound is heard))

_Recording was cut off due to one Gamzee Makara's violent rampage. It resulted in three people being hospitalized, and he is now in the isolation ward. Again. Most of his behavior in the isolation ward is request for pastel and paint, and he smears them on the wall. The only thing we can make out is the word "honk."_

_It was quite queer, though. The patients of this new Syndrome all describe the same description with the same detail. Perhaps this is a proof that human subconsciousness is actually connected to each other. _


	5. Chapter 6

Bro never cut the meteor. And that's a fact.

Well, my bro is still taking care of me. But hey, in a mental hospital, pretty sure it doesn't matter.

You know what I found? I am in this reality where SBURB never happened, and I am in a hospital where they think I have problems.

Big problems.

You know what I found out? Pesterchum doesn't exist. Bullshit.

But at least others exist. I found out that names match the trolls and others. Rose is getting off few days later. So am I. Because I am a first class actor and I played along pretty well. Though the first thing I told my bro to do when I get to the apartment is clean up his smuppet collection. Apparently, he has those in this reality.

Yeah, he makes puppet porn too, but after he had this sick interview with the doctor, he said the first thing he's going to do is clean up the apartment and get a decent job. Hell, I didn't even know if he had a job back then. Dude's so quiet. You know the time I changed my shades? (Thank god I still have those here.) When I started wearing them, he appeared behind me, gave me this kawaii sparkle, and raised his thumb up, then suddenly went ninja and disappeared. I guess it's bro's way of understanding everybody when no one really understands him.

Well, not this bro. He's going to cook me a decent meal and not order pizza. Hell no. I like pizza. Add some pepperoni please, and we are good to go.

But honestly, this is no joke. SBURB never happened, and I don't even know where everyone is. I'm going to though. Just ask bro to go on a road trip. Maybe he will comply. Maybe he won't. But looking at this guy right now? He's probably ready to do anything for me and pretty sure I can start off by finding my friends. If they even know me like I do with them.

But that aside for now. You know, let me tell you something.

You know what freaked me out the most? Not the fact that the universe didn't explode. Not that I never met the trolls or my awesome friends. Not even my best bro Egbert.

But who cares. I'm chill with that.

No. It's worse. Way worse. Let me tell you.

You know Lil Cal? He's in the apartment, watching me.

Tell you what, I am pretty sure he never died in the first place. That guy survived two universes simultaneously exploding. It's creepy as hell, man.


	6. Chapter 7

Vriska leaned against the back of the wall, watching the illuminating light from the window. Few shadows flickered by as the resident of the house looked around the house, before settling down and talking to the man with a pipe.

John Egbert. Vriska just stared at the guy who she had asked out a date for. A goofy nice guy. Just an average human that she knew after the trolls had discovered the humans.

But what was John talking about? Probably human stuff. Talking to dad about the dreams he had. The fake memories and things. But his dad did not take him to the hospital. Instead, he hugged him and told him that it was just a dream.

Hell, he didn't even go to school.

And Vriska thought that man is hell of a lusus. Or parent, as human term indicated.

For days, Vriska wandered around the house, thinking. Vriska slept near the house, in a park bench. She had stolen clothes from the clothing store, matching her usual attire. She shivered in the chilly wind. Why wasn't he going to his house, knock on the door, and meet him?

Maybe she was afraid. But Vriska would never admit it to herself. She didn't know what to say to John. When was the last time she talked to him? The time when she had gotten backstabbed. Dream bubble John didn't count.

After a moment, Vriska sighed as she stretched, remembering what had happened yesterday.

Vriska was watching him intently across the house, still thinking, when he looked out the window with a confused expression on his face. Then she had seen recognition on his face as he rushed downstairs. He had opened the door and ran out to the streets, shouting her name. Vriska.

Of course, Vriska was afraid before then, that maybe she was human all along. SGRUB never happened and John wouldn't know her. He never saw her in the first place, and… she could almost accept the fact that John will not recognize her. But he did. And she was glad that he did.

But she hid from him, and his father had come to him, and had patted him on the shoulder while Vriska took a glance behind a tree at the crying figure.

Maybe she was afraid, but she couldn't just stare at him forever.

Vriska started to take a step, hesitantly, towards Egbert's front steps, stepping across the lawn. Each step. Each single step that she took towards the house was heavy. But as she stepped on the front porch, in front of the door, her heart was soaring. She knocked on the door, letting the sound of her hand resonate through the silent evening.

She heard his father get up, and for a moment, she was afraid. What would she say to his father? An excuse?

But she heard John's voice, and the sound of him running to the door and opening the door. When John opened the door, she saw through his glasses his eyes wide opening, and the grin that appeared on her face as he leapt to her and hugged her tightly.

Vriska hugged back, joy flittering in her heart, and whispered in his ears.

"I believe that you still owe me that date."


	7. Chapter 8

It really feels regretful when I think of what I had done. Greater good my foot. It was selfish act that I decided to challenge Sol again. What happened after that was due to my genocidal thoughts. And it really isn't pleasant to think about the past when everything I had done was out of selfishness.

And the fact that my death was by a certain someone I killed, and she seemed very distressed about that fact. And the cause of my death was being severed by a chainsaw.

But you know? It's really great to have none of those thoughts on my head. It's just… really great not to think about wiping out the land dwellers, or the broken moraillegence.

The only problem? I still hate having this red blood.

My name is Eridan Ampora, and I am a highblood seadweller.

I sometimes go to the pool to be constantly reminded that I am a seadweller. Despite my new body of a human, my swimming capabilities were not hindered. But… it also reminds me that I am not a troll anymore. Missing horns don't bother me. The skin color doesn't bother me either. It did, at first. I struggled and those humans. The doctors. They had to sedate me. But… I can't breathe anymore. Not the way I used to. And… the horrid color of red under this pale skin…

But it took a week to adjust. A week to accept what I was now. I still wince when I see my blood color, but… what can I do?

So… beside the therapy and the swimming, I write letters to Fef. And many others. Even Sol. If they are here, anyways. I don't send them though. Just keep them, put them in envelopes and sigh. Maybe this is my punishment. A dream bubble, and I can't wake up.

But… I'm learning to enjoy it. I still am not going to be released any soon, but after I had calmed down, I had access to most of the human facility. Pool is one, but sometimes I go to the arcade, where there are… games. Human games related to shooting something. They are quite popular with younger patients, much younger than I am. I just shoot things. Reminds me back to the time when I used to be younger. Less responsible with my actions. Less aware of the consequences. Then sometimes, I feel the gazes from the nurses and the other female patients in the mental institution. I honestly don't know what to think of the unrequited red feelings aimed at me. Yes, it is quite queer to have them directed at me. The one who was subjected to hate and misery.

And I am reminded of Vriska once again. So I try to shake them off. I don't want their attention or love.

Let me tell the truth. Though… it is really hard for me to accept this. I am missing everyone. Everyone I used to like and I used to hate. I now realize… how much their absence leaves me.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Just being aware of what I had done leaves me guilty.

If others are here as well, even the humans, the first thing I would do is apologize.

And I still write letters, and in a way, hope that they will read them some day.


	8. Chapter 9

Hello. My name is Nepeta Leijon. And today, I have been drawing the shipping charts again. It's mostly pretend, but it involves everyone. It keeps my mind off things. Shipping charts tend to do that. Make me remember the happy times.  
When the doctors ask me what I am drawing, I just say it's doodles to clear my mind.

But honestly, the likeness of the others they see in the picture suggests that I knew them somehow.

But… it really doesn't matter. Equius is with me, though he is often in the solitary ward. It is really lonely sometimes. Just seeing him snap pencils makes me very frustrated. He won't do anything. Just fret about his blood color being red now.

But… I miss everyone. Or… efurryone. It's fun to use cat puns once in a while. Just… it's not that fun anymore. Now when I am locked up.

I miss Alternia. I miss Karkitty. I miss everyone.

I still have to endure this, though. I really hope others are here. Or not here, not locked up at least.

I just want everybody to be happy. When Karkitty avoided me, I didn't mind. I didn't mind about what he thought or not. Because I loved him, and that was all it mattered to me.

I told no one about this. No one about my true feelings. Just drawing the shipping charts in hope that my OTP will come true.

…

I honestly don't think it matters now, don't it?

Because here, no matter what I do to cheer up, or cheer others up, I'm just… a mentally sick human.

I miss everyone.


	9. Chapter 10

I guess this is really stupid talking to myself like this. But whatever. I guess it is better to leave this piece of recording behind before I move onto my therapy session.

My name is Karkat Vantas, a troll from Alternia with mutated candy-red blood. I can now very much accept the fact that I was a mutated troll because currently, I am a human.

Because humans don't have hemospectrum. And I guess listening to Kankri rant about everything made me feel better about myself. He was fucking asshole.

I have no idea how I ended up here in the fist place, or the reason why I am even a human right now. There is no answer to the question, but from what I have gathered, I'm not alone.

Yes, all of the trolls after hivebent are present on Earth, as humans. Even Rose, John, Dave, and Jade are there as well. I don't know whether this is a coincidence, but something sinister is going on. Everybody's human and they think we have mental problems or something. But that's not the worst part.

Yesterday, I saw Terezi. I literally saw her. And met her. It's just not her anymore. I was horrified to see what they had done to her.

Let me first explain.

Terezi is a blind troll who could smell and taste colors. I guess that did not go well after she became human. But I guess she had worse problems after she came here.

She just looked ahead blankly. Pretty sure she couldn't see. I mean… humans have white iris when they are blind, right? But she didn't even react to me. Just looked at me confusingly as she didn't say anything. I asked one of the nurse, and she said she had been like that for a month ever since the shock therapy. I asked her what that was, and she said it was basically zapping her with volts of electricity in hope that this Alternian Syndrome or whatever could be cured. She was the first and the only subject by far, and they decided to never do it again.

That was really stupid of them to. But they said she was more violent before. Hell she should have been.

I am visiting her tomorrow. I even got permission to take care of her. They hope it is only temporary, but they aren't sure about it. But I know what she is now.

Terezi is in shock, and can't remember me. Pretty sure her think pan isn't working right. Or isn't even working. But… I still got to take care of her.

Not because I am the leader and whatnot. That shit was over from the day I realized I was not a leader. I was a selfish, immature troll who had no idea what life was like.

But I learned. And… like Porrim suggested, I won't be letting a loved one go. Even though she doesn't know me.


	10. Chapter 11

Nepeta opened her eye to find a pair of yellow eyes staring back at her, with the blue hat and olive coat. Herself, or trollself, more like. It took a while to register that the trollself was nothing more than scribbled chalk doodle, holding the hand of Karkat with a red heart between them.

She sighed as she stood up and stretched to look at the clock embedded on the wall. It was… 2 in the morning. It was still dark outside. But trolls were nocturnal, and she felt out of place doing things in the morning than at night. But she couldn't complain. Or she would be detained like Equius. So she picked up the small box of chalk underneath her bed and started to draw more shipping charts, remembering the happy times in Alternia.

She sighed as she heard footsteps outside. The security maybe. But the footsteps were familiar…

She shrugged it off as she picked up a white chalk. Pale feelings. Moraillegence.

She placed the chalk on the wall, and dragged it across diagonally, shifting directions ever so slightly to draw a small diamond.

A sudden bang echoed across the hall and Nepeta jumped back like a feline, her eyes gleaming behind her now ruffled and long hair. Her hair had grown since then.

"Nepeta?" A gruff voice said from behind the wall, and there were sound of jingling keys as she caught the sight of cracked glasses.

"Equius?" Nepeta replied as she tentatively reached the door, looking through the small hole in the door to see the guard knocked out. "What are you doing here?"

"We are getting out." He said shortly as he opened the door and hugged her. Hugged her. She had never since felt a hug from Equius, who was too afraid of his strength. And she hugged back, feeling the strong muscles underneath his skin.

Then he held her small hand as he started to run, bursting through the doors to the outside. But… someone spotted them behind a glass window. Before Equius could stop her, the person was already on the phone, shouting emergency. Equius and Nepeta ran across the corridor, and just in time to see more humans moving behind them. Chasing them.

They were both running. Running through the white corridor looking at the barred windows.

Then there was the barred door in front of them that signified freedom. It took no more than two seconds for Equius to unlock the door, and snap the key, preventing from the security from chasing them. Or so she thought.

But someone grabbed Nepeta from behind, and a thick arm across her neck as she gasped. Equius was struggling with two other security pinning him down to the wall. She closed her eyes with tears streaming down her face. No. She didn't want to be locked up again.

And the hand on her neck was gone as Equius managed to pull free and make the security let go of her. Everything seemed to be in slow motion then. "Run!" He had said as he was once again pinned down as the person was making his way to her.

She would have helped Equius. Never run. She had been the predator, always, until a certain memory flashed through her head. A face with three diagonal scars, seeping purple. The jagged teeth and the piercing yellow eyes. And the burst of pain… The painted face…

Fear filled her as she turned to flee. She was much faster, more nimble than her pursuer. As she ran, she took a glance back. Equius's glasses had fallen, and he looked at her with a smile on his face. He mouthed some words, a sentence, before someone with a white robe came out of the hospital and injected him with something. Sedative, probably, as he slumped forward and he fell to the ground.

She kept running until she was certain that no one was chasing her anymore. In her white robe of the hospital, and shivering in the cold night air as she hugged herself. He could have fought, really, if he was a troll. His ridiculous strength that labeled him a freak… but…

Nepeta hugged herself harder, feeling the already fading warmth of Equius. She still had tears flowing in her eyes as she looked at something small in her hand. The white chalk that she had been holding the entire time.

Moralliegence…. It is fundamentally different from other three quadrants. No love. No hate. Guardianship as they watch their back, supporting, pacifying…

And she smiled as she realized what he had said to her before he fell. She stepped forward into the empty street, determined to find someone. She would look for some humans. She would look for Rose, and hopefully she could find her.

The last word rang in her ears, and she wiped her tears away.

"I will not kneel."


	11. Chapter 12

"You are taking me to the aquarium?" Feferi asked the nurse.

"Oh, yes. Along with few other patients. Of course you will be escorted. Since you showed quite some improvements, I think you should enjoy yourself there." The nurse smiled at her.

Feferi squeaked in delight as she closed the book about aquatic creatures that had been sitting on the table. She had stopped believing in Alternia and about the game that happened. It had been so easy to let go. Eridan had been imaginary all along. All the burdens as the Heiress, the burden of being a morail, burden of everything. Just gone when she found out those people didn't exist. Or trolls. Trolls didn't exist.

As she started to go to the room, she saw someone in the hallway, and froze. She had only seen the person once. Only once.

The long flowing hair on the back, the Imperial symbol of Alternia etched on the skintight suit. The pale grey skin and the curved orange horns.

The Imperial Condescension.

Feferi blinked, and the person was gone. Just disappeared. Feferi sighed in relief. Maybe she was hallucinating. She should be just happy to be in the aquarium. Nowhere in her memories did she remember herself in an aquarium. She lived under the sea in the memories, but that didn't count. Hopefully she was able to forget about all that horrible life she had with others. This was a new beginning if there was one.

How wrong she was.

== Continued in the Next Chapter


	12. Chapter 13

Eridan saw Feferi before she saw him. For the brief moment, the time seemed to stop. Eridan never stopped believing that SGRUB happened. He still felt guilt all over his heart as he remembered the way Feferi had died by his hands. Or the wand. Or whatever.

Yes, his therapy sessions had shown improvement on his side. His violent tendencies and genocidal urges had dwindled. But that only made things worse for him. Every single night, he had nightmares about how Feferi was dying. But instead of Feferi collapsing in the horn pile, he kept seeing the vision of her clutching the hole in her chest, and crying "Why, Eridan?" The only thing that kept the nightmares at bay was the letter writing. He never ceased to write, and he never threw them away.

Now that no hemospectrum existed, Eridan felt the slight relief. No sea dwellers. No land dweller. No nothing. No caste whatsoever, and he found this mental peace, if that's what he could call it.

When he saw Feferi, he didn't know what to say. Feferi had looked at him, had a flash of recognition and confusion in her face before she shrugged and looked away.

He started to stand up, and step closer to Feferi. He had, for few months, tried to figure out why Feferi had dumped him. The therapists he had talked about were happy to suggest a few things. He had been egocentric. Selfish. And never listened to her. He had been only thinking about himself and not the happiness from Feferi's side.

"Um.. hello… Fef…." He started to say to Feferi. Feferi looked at him.

"Do I know you?" Feferi asked. She was telling the truth. She had tried to leave behind the painful past. And now she was just happy and content with living as a human.

The therapist had also suggested one thing. A new start. "My name is Eridan Ampora." He took a breath, and wondered what to say. But the next sentence came to her, and he saw her beautiful smile again.

"And I want to be your friend."


	13. Chapter 14

Writer's note: I have received few words of disclaimers and copyright issues. So I deleted Chapter 4. Sorry about that. That time, I wasn't even expecting anyone to even view the story, so I did that. Sorry, and it will be fixed and be up. In my words, and not copied. And sorry for not updating.

Aradia looked outside the window. Barred, of course. Every window was barred. She wore a party hat on top of her head. She had been throwing a party. Not a corpse party. She smiled in amusement at the joke. She had suggested that once when Sollux had "died" on the meteor after he over-exerted himself to save them from flying straight into the Green Sun.

Honestly, Aradia have never felt better. Being alive was one thing. Being human was another. Not having worry about hemospectrum was better than she thought. No discrimination about blood. Didn't humans discriminate among themselves of the colors of their skin? She heard that one before. But it didn't seem so. Not, at least, in the institution.

She had just thrown a party to a child who was locked up with her. She seemed fine, but said something incoherent. Something quite familiar… and yet out of grasp.

At first she thought of the accent as Alternian. Some parts of Alternia had that. But humans called it Japanese. After trying to understand, Aradia gave up. It was too difficult to understand, and the girl was always trying to say something. That or it was broken English.

The only regret of being on Earth was not knowing where her friends were. She felt slight guilt. But… if she knew where Sollux was… at least he would be happy here, right? And so will Karkat, who will not have to face the mutation he had. No more mutation from now on. She smiled at that too. It was going to be a happy time.

She looked outside the window again, and spotted a woman wearing a jade dress. She blinked. The woman had looked so familiar. Almost like herself. But as she blinked, the woman had vanished. Was she seeing things? Maybe. Maybe living with so-called insane people made her insane as well. Aradia giggled at the thought. The patients were a nice bunch, if not quirky.


	14. Chapter 15

Hello. My name is Jade Harley and I am supposed to be talking about how I am and things.

Well, I found out a couple of things. I don't have First Guardian Powers anymore. Nor am I a Godtier. In fact, it seems like the whole SBURB thing never happened!

Not to mention I don't live on an island anymore. I apparently lived in a hunting cabin near a forest, with my grandpa and Bec. Bec was a white hunting dog, apparently. No first guardian thing. Kinda weird, but I'm fine with that.

When grandpa passed away from a hunting accident, I was living with my grandma. Grandma. I know. Kinda weird. She came to visit me yesterday. She's nice. She kinda looks like an older me. And I have to say she doesn't look like a grandma at all. In fact, she kinda looks like a forty year old person with blackish grayish hair.

And I have those issues with cats still. And I bark like a dog.

I honestly want to know what happened to the others by the way. John apparently knows me. He came to visit me a month ago. He had his dad with him and told me we were supposed to be cousins.

Today I'm supposed to go and visit some dogs. They said a companion might help me get over this Alternian Syndrome. I am still going to believe that SBURB happened. Really. No matter what.

_The patient Jade Harley shows minor stage of lycanthropy, a mental illness that makes patients act like dogs or wolves. Most cases of lycanthropy makes people sound as if they are mythical creatures called "werewolves". They see themselves as wolves in the mirror, has tendency to like raw meat, and is prone to violent behavior. Jade, however, is a different case. She occasionally acts like a dog like chasing cats or squirrels when we bring her outside for fresh air. She also has a tendency to scratch behind her ears. Not an uncommon trait, but something to take note of. So far, there was no violent behavior for the six months she had been in rehab. I believe that she could be released soon so she could live with her grandmother. I look forward to the day. Jade is quite kind and many patients and doctors alike had taken quite a liking to her. _

_Speaking of which, there was a kind donor who had funded the trip to the aquarium on the east wing. I wonder if she is related to Feferi Peixes, sharing the same family name. She didn't state whether or not she was a legal guardian. One thing I know is that she works in Betty Crocker Company. And I silently wonder when was the last time she went to a barber to get a haircut. The woman had too much hair in my opinion. _


	15. Notes from Sollux Captor

_Let's say human technology sucks. This is Sollux Captor, under a human subway station that has long since been abandoned. _

_They don't even have a proper voice reckoning system. It can't translate my lisp. And I'm very much annoyed. Not to mention the autocorrect. I'm going to have to fix both of that during my stay._

_I'm currently a human. Just like everyone else. I found a few patients who shared the name of my "friends" and found they were indeed my friends. Except restrained, in heavy therapy. Some, I found, were released, while others are missing from those reports. Perhaps I could do a research on the names in the federal if I could risk it without necessary system stealth equipment. I will track them down later, after I salvage more screens and more hard drives. _

_I was also confined to a similar facility before I stole a phone and hacked into the asylum system, releasing myself, and couple of others for a distraction. I barely managed to escape. Human bodies are quite weak. Not that I mind that. I wasn't the brawn of the group to begin with. But no psionic powers? That's a start. _

_I still know all the codes, and that's why I escaped. Knowledge is sweet. _

_The advantage of being human, however, is that I don't have those voices following me around anymore. That's a good plus. I can meditate in peace. And sleep in peace. No more nightmares except that old one which I live with always. _

_Note to self: Find AA_

_I still have my bipolarity issue. That's gonna stick, I guess. I painted the room half red and half blue with some paint I found. It smells kinda weird because it's old paint. Ugh. _

_At least it doesn't have grub blood or something like that. I noticed that it said toxic. I think back to Terezi. She wouldn't be licking those any time soon. The nostalgic thought brings me some smile to my place. _

_I'm just going to give up using the quirk because human systems have this inbuilt auto-correct with this outdated system. For gog's sake. This is the only piece of junk that can actually handle enough coding and it is annoying me with its stupid autocorrect. _

_Here is the list of what I had done recently. _

_Found suitable place to hide and hack_

_Salvaged items from the station: old screens, still usable_

_Cleaned up the wreck_

_Tried to rewire the electricity. Worked partially._

_Hacked with the phone again to bring more electricity in the place. Never going to use or steal the Apple products. Those are hacker's nightmare. _

_Tried honey._

_Found out about bonds. Stole about ten bucks from fifty credit cards. Earned five hundred bucks. Human currency is confusing but I'm getting a hang of it._

_Jumping bonds once in a while. Currently have tripled amount for jumping. Bought coffee with honey. I liked it immensely. _

_Sidenote: The coffee girl called me cute. _

_Hacked again to order some computer things to an address. Picked things up the next day and started setting the place up. Now it looks more decent. _

_Found out that Fef is going on an aquarium with the fishface. Would admit a pang of jealousy. I would be jumping planks for her. Pity that she is going today and I just found this an hour ago, so she is on the way. I can't go to her right now. Too far, and I'm still on the lookout. _

_Wiped self from the clinical records. _

_Got into zombie movies. Fuck, those humans actually do make good blood effects. Just all of them are red, and I guess that allows them to focus on less colors? _

_Watched Paranormal Activities. After that, illuminated the room with maximum light and listened to music. No more scary movies._

_Bought some decent glasses. Shaded, of course. With red and blue. Custom made._

_Instead of buying muffins from the café, tried human Chinese food. Got to say those humans are very creative with these. _

_I'm just going to say that these days, I'm trying as much as I can to distract my mind. But I know that something big is going to happen. Not soon, but later. Something's building up and I can feel it. _

_But for now, I'm going on a hunt to be silent. _


	16. Pyrope's Normal Life

Hey. This is Terezi Pyrope, recording.

I managed to wake up from the shock therapy. God, I remember that hurts like hell. Karkat is with me, and I'm finally out. Out of the hellish hospital and living with… my sister.

Apparently Latula, my ancestor, is my sister. And she skates. And plays games. And does all the rad things that she always does.

And I'm blind. To be precise, color blind.

And that's. Fucking. Horrible.

Human biology is not meant to sniff on colors and taste them. And chalk tastes awful. I tried. And I choked. Humans need to make their chalks more tasty.

So back to Latula. I'm jealous of her. She mostly dresses the same. She came by a lot to visit me. Personal visit. No interruptions or anything. She also visits this other guy, Mituna, who calls her Tulip. Still does, even when I'm out of the hospital. Kinda cute, those two. And they don't know anything about Beforus or Alternia or even SBURB.

"_Gotta say that's going to be hell of a game to play if all that happened, sis."_ Latula said that when I told her.

But I still envy her. I noticed how I looked like. Kinda short, and with freckles. I also should have this reddish hair? I can't even see it as red. It's like grayish for me. Which sucks. Because I am imagining it to be candy red. Like Karkat, and there is no way to prove that.

Her hair is black. I noticed. She still looks kind of the same, except taller. More pretty. Cool. Rad as always.

Technically, I'm 16 now. That's… what? 7 sweeps? 8? Somewhere in between? And she is now teaching me how to skateboard. Which would be awesome if I don't trip all the god damn time I step on the board.

But it's cool. I guess? She occasionally hears my stories about what happened during the SBURB session and gets these plastic horns and gray body paint so we can dress as trolls. Not that it matters because I can't even tell if it is the right gray or not. But to me it seems like it. So we dress up and go out and people tell us we look cool.

I'm still wondering where everyone is, but I'm hanging out with Karkat on the occasion. Many things happen. We kinda date again. If we can even call it a date. He apparently has Kankri as his brother who is, thankfully, away. And he talks just as much. Or so Karkat told me. :]

Says he's supposed to be in a debate team? What was it? Forensics? And Latula told me he won every single medal for Forensics because no one even wanted to argue with him. So they just threw the medal at him every single time he stepped on the stage without him uttering a word. And he still spoke on. And said that he had a crush on her in high school.

I apparently have a mom who is in comatose. I remember my own dragonmom. My lusus used to sleep, and I'm ok with it. I visit her once in a while with Latula.

I miss my own dragonmom now. But I wonder when she's going to wake up.

Oh. Right. And Latula works in a coffee shop. Said she saw a guy with 3d glasses and he looked kinda cute. I wonder if that was Sollux or his wannabe.

PS: I still hang scalemates. I had Lemonsnout burnt because he got infested with bedbugs. That guy just took the illegal stuff to his grave.

PPS: I started to read law books. It's boring. But I'm going to be a prosecutioner if we are going to stay here. Because that's the human equivalent of my dream.


	17. Rose's Logs

Day 31

There were few things I discovered about mom in this weird timeline where none of this happened.

First, my mother is still an alcoholic. Not that much, but she drinks wine on most dinner. And every Monday, she goes out at night when she thinks I'm asleep. And then she comes back late, and wakes up Tuesday morning hung over completely. I find this cycle quite predictable, but rather enjoyable. She looks quite young and robust for her age, and it is quite nice to be alone in the house. On Saturdays, it appears that she visits a particular someone a special visit. I have yet to find more about this person, but I think she plans to bring him to the house quite soon.

Every Sunday, however, she takes me to church. I never considered my mother religious and she apparently found my liking for Eldritch monsters and consultation of the grimoire as early curiosity and will hopefully quickly.

It didn't. And she gave up. I have to admit that it still has my curiosity beckoning.

Not to mention I seem to have connection with the Noble Circle of Horrorterrors still. It terrifies me.

I keep waking up in the middle of the night, sweating, panic and fear in the middle of my mind. I don't remember what happened during those dreams, but I know that it can't be good. And currently, I am afraid to go into the attic. The beckoning is stronger there, and I am afraid whatever lies in there, amongst the toys I used to play as a child (my mother said that's mostly what they were besides her old things, which I doubt has any connection at all with grimoires or those who dwell in the Outer Ring). I will avoid the attic until further notice.

I have managed to contact John and he said he had met Vriska two weeks ago, and had started dating. I have to admit I did feel a pang of jealousy. But it would at least stop my mother from asking me whether or not I liked him. She stopped immediately when I said he was taken.

I will update my status more when I get the chance. She is currently home schooling me.

Day 43

I woke up again. It's 3 in the morning, the rain outside strong, the thunder flashing. And yet I'm not afraid of that. For few days, I did not have any nightmares again. I passed it off as nightmares. Bad dreams as my mother suggested and she said I could sleep next to her for a while.

It wasn't a dream at all. I am grateful that I woke up at all. I had rolled off the bed, and I was grateful for that.

I tried to get online to check upon my friends again. John is asleep. As far as I know, Dave and Jade can be anywhere. Most likely a mental hospital. No sign of the trolls beside Vriska.

Day 49

I had gone to the mental hospital again. My mother drove me. They said I could be sleepwalking. The nightmares are most likely old memories and fears surfacing. They said I didn't need medication, and the best method is to revive other memories I would be fond of. I wonder how wrong that was when my mother brought out a small box of toys and an old flute from the attic. I admit I was scared, but the beckoning seemed to be stuck in that attic for whatever reason.

I did not mention the details of the nightmare. I only said infinite darkness and nowhere to go. I did not mention the horrorterrors gods outside the dreaming, staring at me. I didn't want them to lock me up again.

I am currently hugging a squiddle plush toy. Somehow, it had calmed me down a bit.

Day 74

I am scared today.

I woke up, standing. In the hallway. Standing in front of an unopened attic. The beckoning was ignored and I ran into the room, hugging the plush toy. It calmed me instantly. I wonder what is in the attic, but I drown my curiosity. Dreams are becoming more vivid and I am starting to make out some things. I don't think I was a human in the dream. I looked at my hands to rose brambles instead of hands. Sometimes I see cat-like paws. Sometimes I see gray hands, mine, but dark gray. I feel as if my body is made out of patchwork. The feelings are much more vivid. I feel pain. And it isn't pleasant.

And for some reason, I am starting to enjoy it. I smile when I wake up during those nightmares.

I notice a change in my behavior as well. These days, I despise sunlight. I keep sleeping in the morning. It gives me less nightmares. I still doze off at night, but for the pure pleasure of what the dreams have to offer to me.

The gods have not abandoned me at all, it seems.

But I'm still scared regardless. After all, black goes with everything. Even the darkest secrets that are best left hidden.

And I'm wearing black. I started to take a liking to it.

Day 96

It has been a while.

I have gone into the attic in my sleep. I woke up, standing there. The beckoning was there. I had walked forward. There was no light that day. There was a blackout and I had gone to sleep early, even though I wasn't drowsy. I saw them staring at me while I dreamt, and I was myself. They told me they wanted to give me a final present. When I opened my eyes, there was a flash of lightning, and I noticed black tendrils on the wall before the light faded, obscuring them with the shadow.

I had gone front, as if I knew what I was doing, into the darkness of the attic, and picked up a small object, size of the old squiddle doll, and looked at it.

I asked my mother what it was and said it was my first squiddle plush toy. It was old from wear, and she said I had fixed it myself numerous times.

It was once cute. I could see that, but with the stitches and stuffings coming out, it hardly looks like that anymore. The smile has been turned into a frown. The button eyes were bulging, and yet… it brings a smile to my face.

This is their last gift for me. I wonder what it has to tell.

Day 149

I have apparently got back to normal behavior. Apparently I need to clean my room once in a while. Whoever thought me as a clean and organized person is wrong. I almost stepped on the needles again for a scarf I was knitting.

The squiddle pair now sits on my laptop, staring at each other. When I hold the old one to my ear, it whispers to me. Sings to me. The other one brings me comfort when I hold it to my chest.

My mother had finally brought the mysterious man. Apparently, it was Mr. Egbert. And he brought John along. And Vriska. We sat quite awkwardly in the living room, watching some movies that were not Nic Cage themed. (John had gained a disliking for it for some reason, saying it had something to do with three years. This shocked Vriska considerably.)

It really got even more awkward when we started hearing something from the bedroom that we were not supposed to hear. I would recommend a soundproof room. John blushed and so did Vriska. And I am sure that one of them muttered "Wanna makeout?"

So we moved on from that and Vriska said we should search for an online game.

And that is how we found Sollux Captor.


End file.
